At last..or so we thought...

Our OTP batch just had our next level final written exam yesterday...and today (Tuesday), we just finished our revalida. It was such a scary experience... The wait...the trying-to-get-everything-in-your-head feeling...some felt like they haad to vomit...i felt like my head was aching real bad. I'm so thankful that I got a merciful panel...in short, I passed...but the sad part is that I have two other batchmates who were told by the HR coordinator that they didn't pass. :( it was weird because both of them knew that more or less they were able to answer the questions of their panel. And the thing about both of them is that the panel that didn't pass them is only one group panel...Whoa. It was a shock to all of us. We waited for them in our room at the 14F while they were at the HR floor at the 5F. In time, we grew tired of staying there that we all headed to the 5F to wait. As mentioned by my batchmate, Awin, it was like waiting for a baby delivery...or better yet, an operation. We were all waiting outside, hoping things would turn out right. And when one of the officers they were appealling to came out, he told us that it was a final decision and all we could do was comfort them. It was a sad time for us. When we saw them crying and all that. It was like a chain breaking. We're all so close already! I mean, this is the final stage and this happens? We all can't believe it. We were all thinking already about graduating complete and having the President be our grad speaker... Suddenly, we were all fearing not just got our two batchmates, but also for ourselves, the written exam. Everything seemed so shaky and the group's confidence absolutely went down. Hopefully by tomorrow we can appeal and hopefully, things would turn out well for ALL of us.... If anyone is reading this, I ask for you to please pray for us....

kung kayo na talaga...

Minsan, kung iisipin mo, okay na din na mag-asawa ng maaga... Lalo na kung nararamdaman mo na talagang kayong dalawa ay para sa isa't isa. Parang tadhana, ika nga ng mga romantiko. Kung baga, parang hindi mo na pinakawalan ang taong hindi mo kayang mawala... Hindi mo pinakawalan ang oportunidad na baka siyang siya na nga. Parang soulmate. Inunahan mo lang ang posibleng mangyari na baka magkahiwalay kayo, makakita siya ng iba, magpakasal... Tapos ano ka nun? Wala, nakatingin lang. Yun pala pagkatapos ng lahat, malalaman mo na ikaw pa rin pala ang mahal nya, pero hindi na pwede dahil kasal na siya sa iba. Kesa umabot sa ganito ang sitwasyon, siguro nga, okay na din na maagang magpakasal. Sa ganun, simula pa lang, kayong kayo na talaga.

Hep. Sa nilahad ko dito, syempre, hindi ko na isinama ang ibang nakakalungkot isipin na tanong na tulad ng "pano kung hindi pala kayo sa isa't isa?" Dahil ibang usapan na kapag napunta ka sa ganitong sitwasyon..

Sana nga lahat na lang ng tao makita ang kani-kanilang soulmate, para naman hindi nakakalungkot, na parang laging sawi. Nakakalungkot isipin na mag-isa ka lang, hindi ba? Hirap kasi kapag ganun. Kaya mapalad ang mga pinagkita ng tadhana at naging magkasama sa habambuhay. Sila yung, naging sila talaga...

ok lang

dumating ka
sa panahong okay lang
mag-isa...
oo, tama,
okay lang mag-isa.
kinilala kita
bilang kaibigan...
ngunit ang iyong
mga salita't
may ibang kahulugan...
at sa isang idlap,
ako'y naniwala...
unti unting nahulog.
okay lang mag-isa?
hindi na yata.
ngayon ay
ninanais kong makita
kita't makasama.
dumating ka...
sana'y wag ka na umalis...


["dumating ka sa panahong okay lang mag-isa" is from Tin Dulay...i liked that line and got inspired by it]

a different kind of roadtrip

Yes, tomorrow i will be taking on a different kind of roadtrip. it's another roadtrip of life. like what my supervisor slash mentor slash friend just told me yesterday, "just go with the flow." and so indeed, i am. i'll be taking on the OTP (officership training program), which will start tomorrow and see where it leads me... that's that...wish me luck. :) [i hope my lucky "charm" will also stay a while.hehe]

Wha?!?!?!?!?!

What a Monday! I started the day super happy because after so long (one week or so--yes, to me, that's long), I decided to say hi to someone by juast forwarding a quote and then had a short but happy exchange of texts. That kept me happy the whole planning day...well, until I was told by my boss that I'd be going to the 6-month-test-every-2-weeks-training-where-you-either-pass-or-fail-then-you're-out-program this July 16. WHA?!?!?! that's 3 days from now! i was so shell shocked that i couldn't react to it. my head suddenly became heavier and pounded louder, my stomach did a 360, and suddenly i was focusing on what i was typing. my boss was practically making parinig about my trying-to-be-deadma reaction...honestly, i never really looked forward to it. nor did i plan it. i have my own plans and that wasn't quite it. i don't believe much in the training program because what i believe in is the effort, the passion and the output that you do when you work, not based on some exam where you have to memorize tons of stuff that may not be applicable. plus other reasons i'd rather not mention here. yes, it may be that i'm scared too but it's not really the reason why. going back, well, that's it, i have other plans. just this morning, aside from the wonderful texting moment (sigh), i got a text to send my resume to a friend...oh and another friend asked me if i wanted to send my resume to the company she works in... now i'm like partially confused. i don't know if i should wish that there's something wrong in my attendance or that i should just go with the program (goodluck to me, pass or fail and face shame)...then maybe after, whether i pass or fail, re-evaulate myself... ugh! This is a "wha?!?!?" Monday....

miss

addicted

i am intoxicated.
my heart is full of my love for you.
every waking day is spent
with thoughts of us.
together.
..that brings me a smile.

every "i love you" from you,
i cherish.
every kiss.
every little thing that you do for me,
i treasure.

..when your hand intertwines with mine,
...whenever i feel your touch...
oh i get intoxicated.
i feel drugged.
still i crave for you.
i am addicted...

nothing can cure me.