ok lang

dumating ka
sa panahong okay lang
mag-isa...
oo, tama,
okay lang mag-isa.
kinilala kita
bilang kaibigan...
ngunit ang iyong
mga salita't
may ibang kahulugan...
at sa isang idlap,
ako'y naniwala...
unti unting nahulog.
okay lang mag-isa?
hindi na yata.
ngayon ay
ninanais kong makita
kita't makasama.
dumating ka...
sana'y wag ka na umalis...


["dumating ka sa panahong okay lang mag-isa" is from Tin Dulay...i liked that line and got inspired by it]

a different kind of roadtrip

Yes, tomorrow i will be taking on a different kind of roadtrip. it's another roadtrip of life. like what my supervisor slash mentor slash friend just told me yesterday, "just go with the flow." and so indeed, i am. i'll be taking on the OTP (officership training program), which will start tomorrow and see where it leads me... that's that...wish me luck. :) [i hope my lucky "charm" will also stay a while.hehe]

Wha?!?!?!?!?!

What a Monday! I started the day super happy because after so long (one week or so--yes, to me, that's long), I decided to say hi to someone by juast forwarding a quote and then had a short but happy exchange of texts. That kept me happy the whole planning day...well, until I was told by my boss that I'd be going to the 6-month-test-every-2-weeks-training-where-you-either-pass-or-fail-then-you're-out-program this July 16. WHA?!?!?! that's 3 days from now! i was so shell shocked that i couldn't react to it. my head suddenly became heavier and pounded louder, my stomach did a 360, and suddenly i was focusing on what i was typing. my boss was practically making parinig about my trying-to-be-deadma reaction...honestly, i never really looked forward to it. nor did i plan it. i have my own plans and that wasn't quite it. i don't believe much in the training program because what i believe in is the effort, the passion and the output that you do when you work, not based on some exam where you have to memorize tons of stuff that may not be applicable. plus other reasons i'd rather not mention here. yes, it may be that i'm scared too but it's not really the reason why. going back, well, that's it, i have other plans. just this morning, aside from the wonderful texting moment (sigh), i got a text to send my resume to a friend...oh and another friend asked me if i wanted to send my resume to the company she works in... now i'm like partially confused. i don't know if i should wish that there's something wrong in my attendance or that i should just go with the program (goodluck to me, pass or fail and face shame)...then maybe after, whether i pass or fail, re-evaulate myself... ugh! This is a "wha?!?!?" Monday....

miss

addicted

i am intoxicated.
my heart is full of my love for you.
every waking day is spent
with thoughts of us.
together.
..that brings me a smile.

every "i love you" from you,
i cherish.
every kiss.
every little thing that you do for me,
i treasure.

..when your hand intertwines with mine,
...whenever i feel your touch...
oh i get intoxicated.
i feel drugged.
still i crave for you.
i am addicted...

nothing can cure me.

untitled

love me.
what do I need to do
for you to love me
with all your heart
as I do with you?

love me.
please.
what is it that
you are looking for?
let me give you peace.

love me.
open your heart to me
and i will do everything
in my power to
make you happy.

my heart is bleeding.
i walk blindly in the vast emptiness
waith my love for you
as my light...my guide...

love me.
my blood love is draining me.
help me.
love me.

Happy birthday, Lola!

Today, my family and I went to Laguna...We visited Lola. It's her 94th birthday! Wow... I know I was kinda irritated at my dad coz he didn't tell me that we were going to Laguna today but now, it's ok with me. I got to see Lolo and Lola, which is good, coz I haven't seen them for some time. And I'm glad to see that Lola's somewhat doing ok. I mean, she's talking and smiling and all that...Because when I saw her in the hospital, she was so small and so weak...and I must admit, that's not how I know my Lola to be... It kinda ached to see Lola on a bed. Coz I knew her to always be walking in the house, watching the road, humming, looking around... Now, she's just on the bed... :( but I'm still thankful that's she's better. Hope we can still celebrate her 95th birthday..coz I promised her that next time, she'll have candles to blow and that she'll be able to blow the lighted candles on that day... There was one thing that caught my attention before we left Laguna...when we were saying our goodbyes to them...I saw Lolo holding Lola's hand... that just melted my heart... Anyway, Happy Birthday, Lola!

sickly me

I cannot believe it. I have been sick two times already for the past two weeks. I have no idea what the heck is wrong with me... Well, yeah, i am sick, inside (haha) and now as well as outside. So much for being broken hearted and all that. I was so looking forward to this weekend, particularly today, saturday, because I wanted to party...Well, Ii actually just wanted to dance the night away in a club and have lotsa fun... But now I can't because I'm just recovering from my being sick last Thursday night till yesterday...Sigh.Oh well. By next week, I will be back with a vengeance. hehehe. :)

Rain

Dear rain or storm or typhoon
wash it all away.
Pour down on me and wash it all away...
Strip me of my sadness, my now unrequited love.
take away my madness.
Wash away all my memories of him
Strip me of my heart's broken pieces.
Take it all with you
Take it to the sea,
take it up to the air,
take it some place else,
just take it from me.
Or if you shall need to take me too,
do so,
so that i may be gone.
washed away with my memories
of him.

To the Love god

Hile Cupid.
Grant me my wish.
Find me a man who will be mine alone
and I, who, for him, will be his.
I don't need no roses.
I just need no lies.
No fooling around
coz my heart's been in a fool's hold
for so long a time.

Hile Cupid.
I give all my love
to that one man
that for me you find.
I'm not looking for a perfect guy
coz I myself am not a perfect girl.
Just someone who will stay true to me
till we find our paths continue or not.

Hile Cupid.
Grant me my wish.
I shall wait
till I hear your sound reply.

['hile' is from Stephen King's Dark Tower]