What a Monday! I started the day super happy because after so long (one week or so--yes, to me, that's long), I decided to say hi to someone by juast forwarding a quote and then had a short but happy exchange of texts. That kept me happy the whole planning day...well, until I was told by my boss that I'd be going to the 6-month-test-every-2-weeks-training-where-you-either-pass-or-fail-then-you're-out-program this July 16. WHA?!?!?! that's 3 days from now! i was so shell shocked that i couldn't react to it. my head suddenly became heavier and pounded louder, my stomach did a 360, and suddenly i was focusing on what i was typing. my boss was practically making parinig about my trying-to-be-deadma reaction...honestly, i never really looked forward to it. nor did i plan it. i have my own plans and that wasn't quite it. i don't believe much in the training program because what i believe in is the effort, the passion and the output that you do when you work, not based on some exam where you have to memorize tons of stuff that may not be applicable. plus other reasons i'd rather not mention here. yes, it may be that i'm scared too but it's not really the reason why. going back, well, that's it, i have other plans. just this morning, aside from the wonderful texting moment (sigh), i got a text to send my resume to a friend...oh and another friend asked me if i wanted to send my resume to the company she works in... now i'm like partially confused. i don't know if i should wish that there's something wrong in my attendance or that i should just go with the program (goodluck to me, pass or fail and face shame)...then maybe after, whether i pass or fail, re-evaulate myself... ugh! This is a "wha?!?!?" Monday....
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